I have been a doula in my community now for the last 5 years. Time has honestly just flown by! I can say with completely honesty that each birth I have attended, and each couple that I have educated has helped to shape me into the doula that I am today.
When I started working as a doula, I was very aware of the curveballs birth could throw at you, after all, I had seen birth play hardball twice already at that point! The unexpected caesarian birth of my firstborn, and the assisted forceps delivery of my second, helped me respect those curveballs and helped me develop a great relationship with the unknown.
I used to be a planner. I like order, I enjoy being organized, and in pregnancy I was no different. So when I meet couples who have similar tendencies I enjoy encouraging them to make peace with the unknown, to welcome it - to embrace it.
When walking into the world of birth you walk into the unknown. How much will it hurt? How much longer will I be here? We know these questions can’t be answered concretely. So instead of trying to calculate what is incalculable we have to choose. We will either surrender to the unknown or fight against it. The unknown always wins. It is up to us if we ride with it or exhaust ourselves fighting against it. The key? Be present. Be fully present. Even when it hurts. Even when you can’t keep your eyes open. Even when it feels impossible to go on. Lean into that moment.
Moment by moment you come closer to what is known. Your baby.
We spend a lot of time working towards educating ourselves and preparing for the birth of our children, this is fantastic. However, it is just as important to prepare our mindset for birth. To challenge our thinking to help ourselves grow as individuals, to allow ourselves to be transformed in the most beautiful way while we go through this life changing transition.