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This is postpartum

I walk past a mirror and look away.

My husband touches me and I cringe.

I step on the scale and shed a tear.

This is postpartum.

With so many inspiring messages about loving your postpartum body, why is it that I still can't stand to look at myself?

How selfish it is to care so deeply about how I look when my beautiful children are the reason

for these stretch marks and flabby belly.

How rude it is to ignore my husband when he tells me I look beautiful over and over again.

How vain it is to obsess over the scale each day.

The reality is that it doesn't happen overnight. We don't read an inspirational quote and all of a sudden love our bodies. 

It takes time and patience.

We spend nine long months creating these perfect little humans and it's unrealistic to expect our bodies back in half of that time. We may never get them "back", and that's ok.

That is ok. It will be ok. 

So today I will take this step towards loving myself. Tomorrow I will take another, and then another. Maybe some days I will take two steps back, but then I will see those little faces looking at me and remember that they are watching. I will pick myself up and keep moving forward. 

Because they are worth it. They will always be worth it.